Time: 4:34 AM
Date: September 22, 2010
I feel so sorry for my roommate. I’ve been running around like an idiot trying to finish up things for an early departure for my time at home later this week. For the past six hours I’ve been that roommate:
- Typing away on my computer
- My phone vibrating well into 3 AM for the periodic texts I receive
- Chomping away on my Pizzalicious Pringles
- And above all things, having my printer run out of paper easily seventeen times, and thus making that really obnoxious beeping noise too many times to count.
All things aside though, after I finished my Spanish Study Guide, I fumbled through my email looking for the flight confirmation my pop sent me weeks ago confirming my flight leaving in twelve hours. Mind you, still in a complete daze from doing homework for almost five days straight, I pulled up the email.
Boom, it hit me.
“go. Nothing is stopping you.”
Time: 1:16 PM
Date: September 24, 2010
I’ve flown airtran back and forth to Indy many many times, but this was the first time that I noticed their slogan. And I saw it on every one of their brochures, signs, etc the day following.
A year ago today, my life began the process up being flipped upside down. I thought that I was destined to be an architect for the rest of my life, until I actually began the process, and realized that what I had thought I wanted to be for sixteen years was in fact wrong. It was a rough couple months, but as scary as it was then, now it is one of my favorite to look back on.
Am I positive that politics is where I am bound to be the rest of my life? No, not at all, but I do find comfort in that for right now, it is where I am supposed to be. And a year later, I still completely agree. For me, I find comfort in the small things, like a sunset. That is the way in which I know that even after the worst of days, I get a new chance tomorrow, and a new day to start over. It’s the sunsets of life that cause me to sit back and think about the big picture. To me, life is all about wandering through the path of life, not knowing where you are and getting lost. Trying to find your way through the forests, passing through clearings, by ponds, and down the riversides. But only when you are confronted with a dense forest followed by a cliff does it get interesting. You can play it safe, sit down on the edge of the cliff and choose not to jump, but rather stay there in order to maintain the existence that you have. You can stay with what you have always known, and choose not to change because it’s easier.
Or you can jump.
You can take the step back, a deep breath, and then just run. Take that running leap, jump, and have one of two things happen. You’ll jump and make it to the other side, barely clearing the gap and keep on walking, glad that you made the correct choice. Or you will fall. You won’t make it to the other side, and you will collapse, but it’s in your confidence that you must know that God will be there to catch you. Because, when it comes down to it, that’s what life is about. Life isn’t found sitting by the edge of the cliff playing it safe, but moreover it’s in the chances that we take, because in reality that’s where God is. It’s that “flying by the seat of your pants in all aspects of life” kind of feeling. You know, where you trust in God completely, blindly, and with absolute faith.
I think though, since last year, I’ve been afraid to jump in many aspects of my life and mostly because everything is so undefined. To me, it’s like I’m in a room. You know, like the one at the end of National Treasure. BIG. And, I see where I think I want to go, but I don’t know how to get there. It’s scary, exhilarating, daunting, and an entire range of other emotions, and for so long I let it hold me back.
That’s not the case anymore though. For any of you that don’t know, Sunday is my twentieth birthday. I’m not telling you this because I want presents or I want you to wish me a happy birthday, but moreover, for the next twenty years, I’m going to let the reigns go. For so long I quarreled with where I thought I wanted to go, compared to where I as actually going, and most importantly, contrasted to where life was going to take me. And looking back on it, that is what makes life worth living. While I will always be smart about the decisions I make, I’m going to purely let life take me in the direction that it wants me to go and I’m not going to fight it. I trust God that eventually I will make it to the other side of the room, but I’m not going to push anything or try and figure it all out now, because anyways, that would take the fun out of everything.
So, you, yes you:
Go do what you’ve always wanted to do. Life is too short and too taxing for you to be anything but happy. And, despite what the situation may be, go follow your heart. In the end, everything will work out. I promise. As scary as something may seem, and as inferior as you may feel now, you will look back on it and realize how in all reality it was exactly what you needed.
So, today, just go. Do something new. Nothing is stopping you.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than the ones that you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
-Mark Twain
